About Tero

Greetings and salutations. If you’re here, then you’re clearly curious about the man behind the internet moniker. Well, to start with my name is Andrew. And if you’ll permit me a few moments of your time, I’m going to tell you a bit about me and my story. But I’m going to deviate from the normal and instead of chronological order I’m going to break it down by topic. Please forgive any perceived awkwardness throughout this and let this also be a caution to anyone that may be sensitive to traumatic things as I will be sharing some of my trauma throughout the rest of this.

“Why would you share those things?” some may ask. Well, frankly I’ve maintained the belief that if by me sharing some of my struggles it may give someone else the courage to stand up and say “I’m not OK” or for them to realize that they aren’t alone in dealing with things and reach out to someone and get help. I share some of my past and the things I’ve gone through to provide others with the knowledge that when I say “I understand” or “I can imagine how that must feel” that it’s coming from a very real place within me. So, read on… but do so at your one caution.

First and foremost, I am unapologetically Christian. Unfortunately, I’m all too familiar with the stereotypical view of what a “Christian” is, having experienced much of it myself. I, however, firmly believe that if more Christians spent more time trying to emulate the Christ that they claim to follow that the world would have a lot fewer problems.

I used to say, “It’s against my religion to be religious” but along the way I’ve come to understand that my walk and my faith are so much more than that statement. I am Christian. I am not here to judge you or beat you over the head with the bible. I’m not the guy standing on the street corner shouting at people. I am imperfect and make many mistakes myself. I, daily, need the grace and mercy of my Lord and because of that I try to extend the same grace and mercy to the world around me.

I grew up in a Lutheran church which I’ve come to describe as watered down Catholic. That fact aside, the church I grew up in, based on my experience, is one that I would consider dead from the neck up. It was a church that was more concerned with doctrine than living a life worthy of the blessings that God has given us. Stand up, sit down, sing this, do that, this is all your birthright. Meanwhile, it was a building full of people that very hypocritically claimed to follow Jesus but did little to reflect that to the world around them. And seemingly did just as little to take care of its congregation, especially it’s kids… but more on that later.

Because of my experiences with the church, I blamed God and spent many years away from Him. And speaking for myself, my life during that time was meaningless and void of any real joy or purpose. Along the way, I’m certain that God continued to try to draw me back as I searched for something to fill the void in my life. Around 2005, by the grace of God, I found my way back home placing me in a church that believed in the Word of God and following the principles and teaching of Jesus.

I was blessed to have a pastoral staff in that church, and strong men of God that helped to heal many of the hurts and wounds that I had experienced over the years. Including one fiery woman, Momma Marj, that to this day I am certain when her feet hit the floor in the morning that the devil steers clear of because of her love and compassion as well as the strength of her faith.

I have four amazing kids that I love with every fiber of my being, and I miss seeing daily far more than I could ever truly share. I was married to their mother for nearly 15 years, but after many mistakes on both our parts it ended with a divorce a few years ago. Good, bad, or otherwise I am and will be forever thankful for that time because as a result of it I am a drastically different man than I was in my early twenties and was blessed with kids that I am absolutely certain are a gift from God that I will never truly be worthy of, or fully deserve. In my early twenties, I was a very angry individual and, as a result of my parents, had learned that the only way you solve conflict in a relationship is to yell and swear at each other. Along the way, through many counselling sessions, meetings with pastors, seminars, men’s groups, etc. I learned how to let go of that anger and learned that in a relationship one of the most important things is communication and being open and honest about one’s feelings.

But, back to the family, being a dad hasn’t always been easy. There have been multiple times where, frankly, I have felt like a failure as a father; there was a point in time where one of my kids was certain that I didn’t love him, other times where the kids were too scared to talk to me. More than once where I’ve been terrified; missed my kids, dealing with a kid that had dangerously high fevers requiring an ER, near accidents that could have taken one of their lives, and more. It’s been by the grace and mercy of God that the kids have been kept safe, and thankfully changed me as a man and a father before it was too late to repair the relationships with the kids.

In other news, I have three sisters; two older sisters that are, and have been for the majority of my life, estranged, and one younger sister. And as for my parents, my mother is still living but unfortunately my father passed away in 2017. Speaking honestly, when my father passed, I was already struggling with depression and then losing my father the way I did sent me into a full downward spiral that I nearly lost myself to completely. Literally only by the grace of God, and my love for the kids was I able to prevent losing myself entirely. Nearly everything that I defined myself as, at that point, was gone; either I had left it, stepped down from it, or it was taken away from me entirely. I had dedicated most of my adult life to helping other people, and I wasn’t able to do that anymore and then… things changed. But more on that soon.

I’ll preface this by saying I have many happy memories from my childhood. However, I also have many deeply traumatic memories from the same. I am a survivor of a home that was filled with years of domestic violence and abuse. For years, I witnessed my father beat my mother. My parents yelled, swore, and verbally degraded each other in every way known to man and many they made up along the way. For as far back as I have memory until about the age of 16-ish, my mother beat me. And to be clear, I know the difference between discipline and abuse. What I experienced was abuse – both emotional and physical. I won’t go into the details of any of it as, frankly, it’d take far longer than just a few paragraphs to share everything and there isn’t need to get into that detail. At a young age I was certain that the abuse I was experiencing and the trouble within the house was my fault, and as a result by the age of 7, I had a desire and plan to unalive myself because I felt that “my parents would be better off without me”. And that desire to “end things” was something I struggled with until my mid-twenties when I was finally delivered from that. Thank God.

Along the way, my father had 7 “heart attacks” prior to me turning 18. Most of them prior to me being 10, and I was home alone with him. At some point during my teen years, my father had experienced an accident with a circular saw that resulted in him cutting his hand, and for all intents and purposes amputating his index finger in the basement of the house. And then, seeing my childhood hero in that condition many of the emotions I had felt when he had those heart attacks came flooding back. Dad asked me to call 911, and at the time my mother was apparently so angry at him that she told me that I wasn’t allowed to touch the phone. Some paraphrasing of he got himself into this mess he can get himself out of it. Sitting there feeling trapped because I was fearful of her hurting me, but also fearful of my father being hurt and losing him. It was never an easy place to be.

And unfortunately, there are many more instances of these types of traumatic events that all ultimately lead to me having more than a little CPTSD myself. Many of these are very likely why I’d ultimately end up becoming an EMT, AEMT and ED Tech to do what I could to prevent another kid from feeling or experiencing the things that I did.

I first started working when I was 12 years old on a family farm in southwest Michigan, and throughout my life I have held a myriad of jobs and positions. I’ve held positions at all levels of the corporate structure; those at the absolute bottom of a small business, to third from the top of a global company’s hierarchy. I’ve bagged groceries, mopped floors, stocked shelves, and worked security. I’ve worked as a corporate recruiter, trainer, proctor and held various management positions. I’ve been an EMT, AEMT, Emergency Department Technician, a Firefighter and a Fire Officer. I’ve been a regional sales coordinator with a 26 state region, and held positions where my department had the lowest turnover in the company’s history, or others where my average time to fill a position was the lowest it had ever been for the lowest cost per hire. Through these roles and various others I’ve held, the biggest thing I’ve learned along the way is that there is no one position within a company that is any more important than any other. Even within an emergency department; doctors can’t do their jobs without nurses and techs, nurses can’t do their jobs without doctors and techs, techs can’t do their jobs without the nurses and doctors, and while all of those are absolutely important in a life or death situation none of them can do their jobs if the janitors don’t do theirs.

But ultimately regardless of what position I held, for the majority of my adult life I have attempted to use my position or role to improve the quality of life of my coworkers and help the individuals I am serving to the best of my ability. That would eventually lead itself into streaming and content creation. I originally viewed streaming as an opportunity to try and make some money while I looked for another job outside of the house. I was already in a deep depression. Everything that “made me, me” was “lost”. I had lost one of the most influential men in my life, an uncle that was primarily responsible for me becoming the firefighter and ultimately fire officer that I became. And stream… sucked. It wasn’t who and what I was. I was lost. I was depressed and I couldn’t help people anymore. I wasn’t a firefighter, or an EMT anymore. And then, shortly after starting to stream, my father died and I spiraled worse than I could describe. The only thing that kept me together was my love for the kids.

After a few months of going through the motions the goal and message of the channel and my platform changed. Someone had said something at one point about being depressed, or sad and my response was that they only needed 12 seconds of courage to stand up and say I need help, or I’m not OK. And it was with that I had found my purpose again, and the message of my platform changed. It became centered around breaking the stigmas around mental health, encouraging others to seek help from friends and family around them, sharing with people that there is no shame in receiving help from a trained mental health professional. And a very short time thereafter came my closing statement for stream – something that with very minimal exception I have said after every stream for over 6 years. A reminder to everyone listening that you matter.

I strive to fulfill the calling that God has placed on my life. I try to be a strong and loving example to my children. I choose to use my platforms, and my life as a whole to try and leave the world in a better place than I inherited it. I am open and honest about the struggles that I have on a day-to-day basis and have shared what I’ve shared here to help encourage others. You are not the only one that has experienced the things that you have. Good, bad, deeply traumatic. You are not alone. And there is no shame in feeling lost, broken or hurt. It’s ok to feel that way at times, we just can’t make that our new home. It is my purpose to help at least 1 person have a better life and give them enough strength and courage to help 1 person around them do the same. I am only one man, and I cannot change the world on my own. But I know that together we can multiply that goodness, and we can have a far larger impact than any of us realizes.

My prayer is that I will be a man of courage, willing to stand up in the dark places. Willing to stand up when others back down. Willing to stand for what is right, pure and true. To continue to work to be an example to others, effect positive change in the world around me, and be the man and father that my children need.

It would be easy to think that based on what I’ve shared here that I have, for the most part, had a rather “negative” or “bad” life but that isn’t the case. While it’s true that I’ve experienced a lot of loss, trauma, and even many things that no one, especially a kid, should ever experience. I can say that I also have many happy memories. Memories of going to the farm with dad, riding around in the tractor, playing outside at my grandmother’s with my cousin’s, listening to my grandmother speak into my life, the strength that my grandfather gave me – who, by the way, was the real Santa Claus. Monday lunches with T-Rex at Mod Pizza or Firehouse subs, Cricket’s giggle as she flew through the air and landed on the bed, Firecracker’s certainty that he could beat me in a foot race… only for him to lose, and so many more great memories. I share some of my struggles, some of my pain here and through my platforms not because I am constantly negatively minded, but to show the world around me that you aren’t alone, to try and break the stigma around mental health issues, and to try to better the life of those around me.

If you’ve made it this far, I’d like to thank you for taking any kind of interest in me. Thank you for being here and spending even a small amount of your life with me. I want you to know, that no matter what you are going through, whether it is good or bad, you are never alone. And I’m proud of you.

Thank you again,
Andrew “t3r0” Anderson (a.k.a. “Duck”)

birthday.

• 7 March 1981

kids.

• Cricket (22 y/o girl)
• Firecracker / Dorito (17 y/o boy)
• Tiny Child (15 y/o girl)
• T-Rex (11 y/o boy)
• …and many “honourary” kids

tattoos.

• “Arashi”, right bicep
• “Chichi”, left bicep
• “Ronin”, spine upper back
• “1*” shield, right shin
• “Punisher skull”, right calf

books.

• Outlive your life by Max Lucado
• Wild at Heart by John Eldredge

movies.

• Good Will Hunting
• The Greatest Showman
• I Can Only Imagine
• John Wick
• Ladder 49
• Patch Adams
• White Christmas

music artists.

• Five Finger Death Punch
• NF
• Pillar
• Skillet
• TobyMac

quotes.

• It’s OK to not be OK.
• Courage is not the absence of fear, but the realization that there is something more important than fear.
• The devil whispers to the warrior “you cannot withstand the storm”, the warrior replied “I am the storm”
• “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people” – Eleanor Roosevelt
• People aren’t our greatest asset, people are our only asset.

shows.

• The Chosen
• Hell on Wheels
• Rescue Me
• Suits
• Yellowstone